As we approach this Christmas season, I find myself especially thinking about the stories of Mary and Joseph, and all that they gave up in order to honour and obey God.
When the angel came to visit Mary and tell her that she would become pregnant through the Holy Spirit, her only question was how this could be possible since she was a virgin. She gave no thought to the personal cost to herself but declared herself the submissive servant of the Lord.
And yet, in the ensuing months, as her belly grew and she remained unwed, the cost surely made itself known in the furtive whispers, the pointing, and the knowing glances of her friends and neighbours and the members of her synagogue.
This was a sinful woman, they'd say. Everyone thought they knew her story. She was impure, damaged goods, a dishonour to her family. I wonder if that's why she fled for three months to visit her cousin Elizabeth. Maybe she felt safe there. Maybe her trip gave her a reprieve from the scorn and derision present in her own parents' household. Gossip can be so unrelenting, and when those who think they know you buy into lies—few things on earth are so painful. Maybe knowing that Elizabeth wouldn't condemn her helped strengthen Mary for what would come next. When she returned to her parents' home, it was obvious that she was pregnant.
Enter Joseph, Mary's fiancé. He was a godly man. It's clear from the narrative that he loved Mary deeply. When she was found to be pregnant (and, of course, he knew the baby wasn't his), he didn't want to disgrace her. He wanted to save her life and save her from public shame as much as possible. How beautiful: woven into the subtext of the story is a golden thread of forgiveness. There is no other explanation for the gentle plans Joseph laid.
Divorce was the legally prescribed measure for such a betrayal [1], but he planned to divorce her privately. Then, an angel visited Joseph, too. The angel told him not to worry about taking Mary as his wife. She hadn't been unfaithful to him, as he'd thought. The baby she carried was the result of the work of the Holy Spirit. Joseph immediately obeyed God's instructions. He, too, discarded his reputation to do so. Marrying Mary was as good as an admission that he was a sinful man. Who but the child's father would marry that sinful woman? And so the whispers and snubs and innuendo expanded to include him, too.
The Bible records no complaint from either Joseph or Mary for the things they suffered. But it does record that Joseph, more than any other person involved in the Christmas story, received no less than four dreams, visions, and visits from angels as God directed him in what he should do next. Joseph waited on God, and God honoured his obedient heart.
When we have the courage to live lives of faith and wait on God, we know that we no longer need to defend our reputations. It's our responsibility to follow God and His leading and not to manage other people's perceptions. And we can trust that in the fullness of time, God will defend those of His who have placed their trust in Him and dedicated their passion and energy to praising and glorifying Him, and not to magnifying their own reputations.
NOTES
[1] In that culture, engagement was much more binding than it is today. To break up an engagement, a couple would have to go through divorce proceedings.
