This is the first of a two-part blog series. We’re posting both parts at once, so you don’t have to wait to finish reading.
WHO THIS IS FOR
This is a thought for all Christians in the West, but specifically something for church leaders, pastors, and church boards to consider.
INTRODUCTION
I’ve been thinking about the role of pastors and therapists within the church over the past few years, and I’ve come to some new realizations about how the modern church can balance the needs of pastoral mentorship with psychological care.
TO START: THE CONCLUSION
Today, I’m going to examine a premise that I believe holds true for every church, no matter its size.
Pastors cannot and should not be expected to be counsellors or therapists to their congregants.
That is because the role and approach of a pastor is the polar opposite of a therapist’s.
Let’s consider this idea in more detail.
EXAMINING THE ROLES
Physical Involvement in Life
Pastors are involved in a congregant’s life, sometimes on a weekly basis, or even more frequently. Pastor and congregant often work together towards a common goal. Regular interaction and cooperation are key attributes of the relationship.
Therapists usually see a given patient/client once a week or less frequently. They are exposed to the client’s life only from the client’s point of view, plus whatever observations they might make of the client’s body language, use of the spoken word, and attitudes to stimuli. Interacting outside of therapy sessions is simply not done.
Mentality
Pastors are, at their core, shepherds. They are deeply invested in the well-being and spiritual growth of their congregants. They are anything but distant from the sufferings, the burdens, the joys, and the sorrows of their flock. There is a deep emotional and spiritual connection. They come alongside, they too suffer and cry, they love, and they pray.
Therapists are trained to keep themselves somewhat detached from their clients. They receive special training in how to do this. They ask questions, probe, and are emotionally aware. Good therapists will care about their clients. But they also maintain clear boundaries that protect them from getting too emotionally enmeshed in the lives of their clients.
Talking Together
These mental and physical differences filter down to the way pastors talk with their congregants, and therapists talk with their clients.
Pastors are tasked with providing spiritual instruction to their flocks. This involves studying God, understanding what the Bible says about right and wrong, and then applying it. As they listen to the needs and challenges of their congregants, good pastors will be sympathetic. But built into their shepherding DNA is also the tendency to naturally be on the lookout for areas where a congregant might benefit from spiritual instruction. They will reach out to gently challenge and correct wrong attitudes and behaviours of their congregants.
Therapists are trained to listen without judgement. Of course, they are human, and judgement may sometimes creep in. But they are also trained to operate with a light touch, allow their clients to develop their own conclusions, and not show their inner thoughts. Over the course of treatment, therapists will make verbal suppositions about their clients’ internal lives and motivations. Good therapists study their clients and allow clients to correct errors in their therapeutic suppositions. This means that over time, therapists’ suppositions become more customized and accurate to each client. A therapist will never outright correct a client, but will probe attitudes and suppositions with questions and additional resources.
Training
Therapists’ entire training is centred around assessment, the human psyche, family and social dynamics, and more. They are specially trained to pick up on physical and vocal cues that give insight into clients’ inner lives. When a good therapist makes a supposition about what’s going on in a client’s head or heart, he or she will also solicit that client’s feedback. This hypothesize-and-correct approach can be invaluable in aiding clients to understand their own minds and hearts.
Though pastors might take a few counselling courses in their seminary training, human psychology is not their focus. They are seen as leaders, as holders of answers. Congregants may feel as though they don’t have the right to challenge a pastor’s suppositions about themselves. This type of blockage to exploring the truth about themselves can be severely detrimental to their overall wellbeing. Some pastors may be unable to hear anything but their own opinions and suppositions. This may be because of pride or because they lack the appropriate training. Regardless, the results can be devastating.
EXAMINING THE REPERCUSSIONS
When pastors, who by nature cannot remain aloof from their flock, attempt to enter into a therapeutic relationship with their congregants, they are opening themselves up to a world of hurt.
Congregants who require therapy are often not mentally healthy. That’s why they need therapy. Whether because of difficult circumstances, or some underlying mental illness, they have special needs that most pastors are not equipped to address.
When a pastor engages in a romantic relationship with someone who has come to him or her for therapy or counselling, even if there is no sin of fornication or adultery, there are still other sins in play.
Counselling or therapy changes the nature of the pastoral relationship. The pastor is entering not only into a pastor/congregant relationship, but also a counsellor/client one.
There’s a reason that therapists lose their licenses and are sometimes subject to criminal prosecution when they engage in sexual relations with their clients. The bond between a therapist and a client means that, as far as the therapist is concerned, the client’s ability to make informed decisions about a romantic relationship is impaired. Such impaired consent means that a pastor engaging in such an unholy relationship is stepping into the realm of spiritual and sexual abuse.
It’s also important to note that any psychological injuries incurred in the context of counselling or therapy will mean that the client/congregant will be disabled from making good connections with a certified therapist later. They will have a hard time trusting and bonding with licensed therapists. This will result in much more difficulty in achieving mental health in the future.
In the next post, we’ll talk about the historical underpinnings of this problem, and what pastors can do to help their congregants get the help they need, without endangering themselves, their congregants, and their ministries.
