In recent years, many Christian leaders, pastors, and musicians have turned out to be engaging in vile acts, and covering them up. If you’re like me, you’ve ingested a big dose of discouragement as the revelations continue to roll in. It’s important that we not give in to fear in these times, but take a good long look at our feelings and reactions. If we do this, we allow Jesus to provide us with comfort and stamina to keep going, even when living a faithful Christian life feels beyond us.
Right now, we’re in the middle of a blog series looking some of those hard questions in the face, talking about them, and hopefully gaining a sense of relief, fellowship, and equilibrium in the midst of these tectonic shifts in the world of Western Christianity.
Here's our map of where we've been and where we're going:
1. Is Christian faithfulness impossible?
2. I'm so discouraged. What can I do?
3. I'm so heartbroken. How do I deal with this?
4. I'm so furious I can't think straight. How do I tackle this?
5. I can't stop thinking about this epidemic of faithlessness. My thoughts feel obsessive. What can I do?
6. How do I protect myself from sinning like them?
7. How can I help myself heal?
8. How can I deal with my other questions?
Let’s continue…
3. I'm so heartbroken. How do I deal with this?
Honestly. When heartbroken, the best thing we can do is to bring the full range of our emotions to God, and share them with Him, transparently and honestly.
He made our hearts. He won’t be surprised or shocked at any of our reactions. (Last time, we talked about how God knows the intimate details of our hearts and minds.)
When our trust has been so fundamentally shattered by our leaders, it's natural for us to experience difficulty with trusting God. After all, our leaders were supposed to be His representatives, right? That wounded, broken part of us might worry that our God might actually be like them when we express our heartbreak to Him. Will He be harsh? Judgemental? Condemning?
And yet, the Bible says, "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." [1]
What does it mean to be "in" Christ?
(It's going to take a minute to get to this answer; please bear with me.)
In Ephesians 6, the apostle Paul talks about putting on the armour of God to protect us in the midst of spiritual warfare. The very first piece He mentions is "the belt of truth buckled around [our] waist" [2]. An older translation says we are to "gird [our] loins with truth" [3]. In ancient times, the "loins" were the metaphoric seat of a person's identity, the core of their being, much like the brain is for us in modern times.
"The belt of truth." In our topsy-turvy heartbroken reality, we might well join Pilate in his cynical question to Jesus: "What is truth?" [4]
Jesus didn't answer Pilate, but He does answer us: "I am the way, and the truth, and the life." [5]
What does it mean to be "in" Christ?
It means surrounding ourselves—at the core of our being, at the root of our identity—with truth. With Him.
Do we think we can trust Jesus enough to be honest with Him? Will He be tender enough? Gentle enough? Or, will He rebuke us and criticize our weakness?
Here’s one description the Bible gives of Jesus:
“a bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench”
(Matthew 12:20, ESV)
In another place, the Psalms promise:
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
(Psalm 34:18)
Jesus Himself said:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
(Matthew 11:28–29, emphasis mine)
When I’m hurting, I can’t think of someone safer than a Person who is gentle and humble in heart.
So how can we share our feelings with Jesus?
- (A) Through praying
In part 1, I talked about a time I was so discouraged I couldn’t even pray in the traditional sense. Eventually, I just started talking to God—not able to listen for a response—but just being utterly transparent with Him. This can be a starting place.
Sometimes, God asks us to sit before Him in silence, while He drains out the pain from our spirits. At others, He gives us one word, one truth about how He sees us, and it has nothing to do with our brokenness. He knows what we each need, even when we're too shattered to know for ourselves. When we're about to fly apart, He will not ask more than we can give.
He's so often gentler with me than I am with myself.
- (B) Through journaling
Sometimes, our suffering thoughts can be unfocused. Praying in our minds or out loud can seem too high a mountain to climb. Try writing your thoughts out in a journal. See if you can include God in the conversation. Your journaling may become praying on paper; that’s okay, and a completely valid way of sharing your thoughts with Him.
When you're done, if you’ve not ended up talking directly to God during your journalling? I’d suggest that you try reading what you’ve written, out loud to God.
- (C) Through reading
There are a few types of songs shared in the Psalms. One of them is called a “lament”. The authors of the laments wrote these songs when they were in distress. (Psalm 13 and Psalm 22 are good examples of lament psalms.)
Look through your Bible, and see if you can find a psalm that matches your feelings. Pray it aloud to God.
If you have the energy, you can pause after each verse or stanza and insert details of your situation into your prayer too.
If you don't have the energy, just stick with the pre-written words. Pause to let them sink in. They will be enough.
- (D) Through writing
Create your own lament, in the style of the laments of the Psalms. Start out by poetically expressing your feelings. Ask for God’s help in some way. Remember the ways He’s helped you in the past. End with an expression of trust in Him.
In all of this, there's one thing that I can guarantee:
If we are suffering over the faithlessness of our Christian leaders, so is Jesus.
Jesus—who deserves so much better than the most valiant of human efforts. Who deserves to be loved with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength [6]. Jesus, who suffered and died for each one of us. Who experiences our betrayals, large and small, every day.
This is the Jesus who understands how we feel when our leaders fail us, because they’ve failed Him, too. And He loves them so much more than we do.
When we come to Him in our brokenness, trusting Him with our most painful edges, something special happens. We begin to enter into a special kind of fellowship with Him—the “fellowship of His suffering” [7]. It’s in this place that we begin to understand what our betrayals cost Him. It’s in this place that He covers our scars with His own scarred hands, and we realize that our scars are becoming aligned with His.
We begin to crave righteousness like never before, because righteousness means that we won’t be causing Him additional pain. We begin to understand what it is to be “crucified with Christ” so that it is no longer we who live, but Christ lives in us. [8]
This is a most precious kind of fellowship. Once we’ve experienced it, somehow the pain feels less. Less isolating. (Jesus is with us.) Less of a burden. (We are sharing our burden, yoked together with Him.) Less scary. (“Perfect love casts out fear.” [9])
We can be brokenhearted, yes. But there is good news: God has sent Jesus to bind up the brokenhearted, to heal, and restore, and set us free. [10] This is the promise we share as His children. Yes, we may be brokenhearted. But we don’t have to spiral. We don’t have to stay there.
Next time, we’ll talk about how to handle the fury we experience when our spiritual selves are violated by our leaders. Anger isn't evil, but it can lead to evil...
NOTES
Unless otherwise noted, all scriptures are taken from the NASB version.
[1] Romans 8:1.
[2] Ephesians 6:14, NIV.
[3] My paraphrase of Ephesians 6:14.
[4] John 18:38.
[5] John 14:6.
[6] See Mark 12:30.
[7] See Philippians 3:10.
[8] Galatians 2:20.
[9] 1 John 4:18, ESV.
[10] See Isaiah 61:1, Psalm 147:3, Luke 4:18–19.
